Gymnopedie №1
Originally published on August 22nd 2022
7:12 am, August the 22nd.
Gray clouds and light drizzle to usher in the morning. Three strike actions from different work forces threatened to begin today so the chances of a free day from work is high unless my bad luck is astronomical. It’s been months since I last sat to have breakfast with the family. Questioning stares jot across the table. I notice a smile play across Melissa’s mouth as she chews loudly on her jam-laden toast. Her choice of bread-spread doesn’t change much. I’ve been a ghost of myself since this job started. A contract work in some high-class research I had to sign several NDA’s before commencing. The pay is good, no, amazing but it has robbed me of family time. I know, my family knows. It doesn’t help that I have a very unhealthy attachment to work in general.
Today is calm, I switch on “Gymnopedie no.1” by Erik Satie on the home theatre and allow it to be the background music to our little setting. It’s calming, Melissa enjoys classical music too which is remarkable for someone at that age, she is her father’s daughter after all. Sandy, not so much but she tolerates me and my choice in music. I’m grateful. One of the many things I’m grateful for.
We eat in conversational silence, enjoying the sound of the light showers against the windows and the front porch and then my choice in music. It used to be better, when work wasn’t my drug or at least when I had some self control. The breakfast table would be animated with the most random of conversations and everyone had an opinion that was welcome. And before that, it was better, when Sandy and I first moved in together, young, married and I dare say, in love. We enjoyed our periods of silence and conversations almost equally . We were never the most affection displaying couple, but love lived here.
A lot changed since I went into research, leaving clinical practice. We fought, argued, went days with affection-less silence. It hurt us, we went through with therapy, we healed, Melissa came along, an unplanned and yet welcomed blessing to our lives, the research work got a lot more demanding. It paid the bills in my defense, “at what cost?” her attack. We stuck together for Melissa, I guess things got better, we learnt the art of understanding and compromise.
Sandy drops her fork, loud enough to get our attention. She gestures for a family prayer halfway into the meal. This is a subtle and yet not-so-subtle sign of her gratitude for everything including my presence at the table this morning. I’m happy too, can’t really be seen under my overgrown moustache, but I’m sure they know.
We bow and say the grace.
“If ever the world was to end and the post-credits started rolling, I hope Gymnopedie no.1 would be playing in the background”.(paraphrased reddit comment).